Before Life Changes

I woke up early this morning and couldn't fall back asleep for hours. For whatever reason, through all the chaos going on in my brain, I remembered that our "engagement anniversary" (no, this is not something we celebrate and I only remember the date because it is documented on Facebook) was either yesterday or today. When I checked the date, I realized that it was yesterday. Five years ago yesterday. We both made a decision that changed our lives.

 

At 3:45 (a.m.) I could not get my mind to stop turning. I couldn't stop thinking about all that has happened since September 14, 2009. I started looking through all of my pictures on Facebook and re-living each memory-all the way back from high school when we first started dating. It was actually a sweet time as we are about to have a baby girl and life is going to forever change for us.

 

I can't help but think about how young we were; how much we thought we knew (but really didn't); the things we thought we had figured out. At 20 and 21 years old, we were just kids! We didn't have a clue about marriage and how to "make it work". We didn't know what we were doing! He wasn't even legal (ha)! We really had no idea how much we would have to figure out. We had no idea how hard the first year or so would be (we both agree--it wasn't exactly a fairy tale). We just knew we had each other and that was all that really mattered. We knew we would make it work, one way or another.

 

A week away from my due date, I'm starting to see a parallel. At 24 and 25, I'm sure we don't have as much figured out as we think we do! We are still young. We have no idea what we're doing when it comes to parenting. I'm sure the first year or so will be hard. It will be new and different. Lots of things will change, just like they did after we got married. We thought we knew each other, and we did, but being married, you learn so much more about someone. I'm sure once we become parents, the same will apply. Life won't just be about "us" anymore. It will also be about our little girl. I can't even imagine how much will change, but I don't doubt that we will figure it out as we go. We will learn what it means to be "Mommy and Daddy" just like we learned how to be husband and wife. In a matter of minutes, life will forever change. A part of me is scared I won't remember "us" and what we were like before baby. A part of me has forgotten what it was like before I was pregnant (believe me, life changes)! I'm sure I will remember and some things may not change much, but just in case, I'm writing this.

 

Right now, we come and go as we please. We can up and go out of town if we want to with no real planning except getting a bag together and making sure the dogs are taken care of. Every night could be date night. The only thing we have to take care of are the dogs and each other-all of which are rather low maintenance. We get uninterrupted sleep each night. We can sit in silence if we want. We can simply walk out of the house whenever we want. Whenever we're home together, we always have the others undivided attention.We know if we want to go anywhere, it takes me about an hour to get ready and then we're off!

I know I will miss these days; just like I miss the days of dating.

Things changed when we got married and things will change when our baby is born.

We are both pretty excited though! We can't wait to meet Ava and see what she's like. I don't think it will be easy, but somehow we will make it work.

Before we talked (seriously) about getting engaged, it clicked for me: There was no one else that I'd want to go through life with. There was no one else that I'd want to learn and grow with. Honestly, there were probably not many other guys who could deal with me (but really). I know that I got a good one! He's been a great husband so far and I know he's going to be an amazing daddy!

So as we live these "last days" of just us, I am trying to soak up and enjoy every moment of it.... before life changes!