If You Want Me To

I grew up (from youth age on) singing "specials" in church. If you're confused, this just means someone gets up and sings a song and hopefully it's a blessing to someone. Well, before I was on 'praise team', I would sing specials on Sunday morning or Sunday evenings in the church I grew up in. I've sung many different things, but one song has always been my favorite. It's called If You Want Me To by Ginny Owens. Some of you may have heard it before. It's fairly old. I sang it as a young teenage girl and it's meaning was completely different to me back then.

A couple weeks ago, a special friend of mine asked me to sing a song at a banquet celebrating her being nominated for teacher of the year. She asked me to sing this song, If You Want Me To. Since I had sung it many times before, I put off going over it until the days before the banquet (yesterday and today). 

As I sit down and sing through this song, I cannot help but reflect on the words of it.

"The pathway is broken and the signs are unclear

And I don't know the reason why You brought me here

But just because You love me the way that You do

I'm gonna walk through the valley if You want me to"

Wow. How relevant to my life right now. Lord, I don't know which way to turn. I don't know what to do with life. There are some paths that I can't navigate on my own. I don't know why I'm at this place in life. I don't know the reason for this season. But, just because You love me. I will walk through this valley if that's what you call me through. I know that You are with me every step of the way. You will guide my path. You make my steps secure.

"So if all of these trials bring me closer to You

Then I will go through the fire if You want me to"

God if the trials are what bring me closer to You, then that's where I want to be. 

"It may not be the way I would have chosen

When You lead me through a world that's not my home

But You never said it would be easy

You only said I'd never go alone"

This definitely is not the way I would have chosen. But I know as I walk through life here on earth that this is not my home. You never promised me this walk with You would be easy, but you did promise that I would never be alone.

"So when the whole world turns against me and I'm all by myself

And I can't hear You answer my cries for help

I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through

And I will go through the valley if You want me to"

There have been times when I've felt like no one here understands or sees what I've gone through. There have been times when I've poured out my heart before God and felt like he hasn't heard, much less answered my cries and prayers. But I know that my suffering in life grows me closer to the Lord, that I might know Him in his suffering. 

It was true in my life as a 15 year old girl; it's true in my life now, as an almost 25 year old woman; and I intend on it being true in my life until I leave this world; I trust in the Lord. I trust in His unfailing love. I trust in Him to provide for me. I trust in Him to work all things out for my good. And I trust that He will walk with me through any valley this life may bring.