After Four Years

There's been a lot I've wanted to blog about lately. I haven't posted since December of last year (I know, only about two months ago). But, there has been a lot going on.

Anyways, today is mine and Adam's four year anniversary! Some days I wonder how we've made it four years (married). Other days I wish time would freeze.

We're no longer considered "newlyweds" and, for some reason, this makes me sad. I have always known we wouldn't stay young teens forever, but some days that life seems so much easier. And some days I miss it.
No house to keep clean (not that ours stays spotless).
No bills to pay.
No cares in the world. Our only worry being what kind of date we'd go on the next weekend.
Riding around in a jacked up truck.
Holding his hand as tight as I could because I knew that, soon, I'd have to be home.

Last weekend we went to the movies. While we were sitting there waiting for it to start, we saw two young couples walk in. They couldn't have been 15 or 16. The two girls came in giggling about every little thing and the two boys wore shy smiles. I looked at him with a pouty face and said, "I want to be young again!". He just smiled, knowing what I meant.

Young love. So cliché, but if you've experienced it, you know what I mean! It's careless, sometimes wreckless, and even fearless.

I do miss those days, but I'm thankful for different days. Not better or worse. Just different.

These days I don't have to squeeze his hand because (as long as God allows) I get to hold it anytime I want. These days we don't have to go ride in a truck to be around each other. Some days we need a break from each other! These days I find myself getting that "young love" feeling in the most unexpected ways at the most unexpected times.

We thought we knew what love was back then. I think we did, in a way. As we've gotten older (you might say we are that old, but we started dating at 15), we've learned that love isn't an emotion. It's not something we're always going to feel. But it is a choice. And, up to this point, it's a choice we've made each day-to love each other no matter what. By the way, that's not always an easy choice to make.

So, after four years of marriage:
I have let go of how the world says my marriage should look.
I have realized that everyday is not a fairytale, but some days come close.
I have realized that the reality of (my) marriage is far better than that of anything Nicholas Sparks could have written. Not perfect. Not always "romantic". But, much better.
I have learned to love the man I married for who he is; not who I think he should be.
I have learned that neither of us is perfect. We will both mess up. Forgiveness is key.
I have learned that it takes way more patience to love me that it does to love him.

I must confess: the name of my blog is a huge lie. Well, a partial lie. I do "babble" a lot on my blog, but it's not always from a "blissful" bride. Every day is not bliss, but I'm okay with that.

A new name for my blog has been in the works for a while now. I've been throwing around some ideas and I think I'm going to change it soon.

If you haven't heard, we're going to have a BABY in September! I have been wanting to blog about this since before we announced it, so that will be my next post!

Until then...