Our New Home

Today was a big day in the life of our church. It meant different things for different people. Some saw it as a return to their updated 'home.' For me, it was a special day with a different kind of meaning- a fresh start with a unified body that has welcomed us with open arms since the first day we walked in.

About 7 months ago, we decided that we needed to start looking for another church to call home. There were many things that affected our decision. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done-leaving a place you call home, full of many people you've grown up around. Adam and I 'reconnected' there (hehe). I accepted Christ there. I started singing in church there. We grew up in the youth there. We grew in our faith there and learned what it really meant to be a 'christian'. We were married there. We grew very close to many sweet people there. So leaving was hard, but at the same time we knew God was calling us to somewhere else. We didn't have a clue where.

We knew some of our close friends were visiting Church Central so, being my stubborn self, I refused to go there for the first couple Sundays. I didn't want to go there "just because others were". I don't usually like to follow the crowd, and sometimes, as if I have something to prove, I do the complete opposite. We visited around to different churches and eventually CC. Everything was all so different and new, so I wasn't sure how I felt about any of the churches we visited.

The more we visited CC, the more I realized that the core people there are legit. They love the Lord and they have a heart for people. They're simple, but effective. They get it. They get what this 'church thing' is all about. Pastor Jeff is one of the nicest guys I've ever met. I don't even know him very well, but you can just tell that he genuinely loves God & people. Not just the ones who look or talk like him, but all kinds. (I'm getting ahead of myself)

Needless to say, before we knew it, we were reluctant to visit elsewhere on Sundays for fear of what we may miss out on at CC. We decided in January, I think, to become partners there. We, along with many others, joined this core body of people in the mission of "bringing them in, building them up, and sending them out". They welcomed us in and we got right to work, but if I'm completely honest (why not? My last post was crazy transparent, so this is nothing, right?!) I kind of felt like we hadn't really meshed all the way with the people who were already there before us. In my mind, there was kind of an 'us and them' mentality. Not that I didn't want to get to know each of them, but I figured it would take time for us to feel at home and really take ownership of the fact that this was now our church too.

Shortly after we joined CC, I started singing with the (I'm not sure what we call ourselves) worship band (?). You get what I mean. I was starting to feel more a part of CC, by helping to lead worship, but there was still some mixing left to do. Fast forward a couple weeks to when we had the really bad storms that came through. If you don't already know, there was a lot of damage done to the building-the roof was ripped off, water damage, etc. It was messy. It seemed hopeless to some- those who proposed that maybe the church should just close and move on. Surely this was a sign that that was what God wanted (this is another blog post in itself). Oh! By the way, those people had it all wrong :) So we temporarily met at another location while we fixed up the building.

It hit me about 2 weeks before we planned to move back into the building. I realized, personally, what God was doing through this building project. Not only was he teaching me more about who he is, amongst other things, but he was unifying (more so) this newly knit body of believers. I knew when we came back to the building, it would be a fresh start for all of us. There would be no 'us-them' mentality because we had all come together during this tough time. We stuck it out and came through it, better.

I was right. This morning was unlike anything I've experienced before. Walking in and helping lead worship in a place that once felt very strange, yet continued to draw us in, I felt completely at home; overwhelmed with peace; the holy spirit so thick, you could almost feel his presence; looking out and seeing these people, who are my new family, worshiping freely. It was beyond amazing.

I am so thankful that while we had no clue what our next move would be or where we would end up, God was directing our path the whole time. He knew we would join this family of amazing people and help them spread Jesus through Milledgeville and the world. God has revived me and brought me back to life spiritually. I am closer to him now than I have ever been. His hand is at work in this group of people and it is very evident. I am thrilled to see what God will do in and through Church Central in the coming months and years. 

So today I am overflowing with thankfulness, gratitude, humility, peace and joy. I was once uncertain, but now couldn't be more sure that we are right where God wants us to be. The journey was not easy, but I'm glad he has led us to our new home.

You're Invited

From the outside, she looks mad at the world. She doesn't make this face on purpose, it just comes across that way because there's so much bitterness, sadness, and anger that's been building over a lifetime. Don't count on her speaking to you unless you make the first move. You see, she is so consumed with herself, she doesn't really care about what you have to say. She won't ask how you are because, to her, it doesn't really matter. If the conversation isn't about her, she's less than interested. It takes a while to get to know her. Few ever make it past the surface. I don't want to make excuses for her, but there are reasons she asks this way. They aren't excuses. They're simply reasons she has used to shut herself off from the outside world. You see, when you first meet her, she has to make a decision: let the wall down and allow you get to know the real her, or keep the wall up and maintain a shallow realtionship. Every now and then she will decide that you're worth her time. This girl is not fun to be around. She's very negative. She never smiles. She's not very happy, and you annoy her if you are. I'm really not sure how she has friends.

She's been building this wall she keeps up for years. Each brick laid comes from disappointment after diappointment. Loss after loss. Heartbreak after heartbreak. Don't be fooled. Her life has not been full of trials and hardships, that's why the wall is so transparent. It's like she doesn't even know it's there. She doesn't see it. She doesn't care about you and your life, but she doesn't know why. She knows there's a hardness, but she can't explain it. There aren't major life events that have put this wall in front of her. However, there have been people who have let her down and broken her heart.

That was her first mistake. Somewhere along the way, she started relying on other people for her joy, fulfillment in life, and contentment. She needed them as a crunch to help carry all the baggage she brings along. She put all her hope and trust in the relationships she built, and people let her down. People left, people disappointed her. They moved. They went back on their word or turned their backs on her. Each broken relationship leading to another brick being laid. The more people let her down, the less likely it became that she would let you in. So rather than getting to know people, she just worried about herself. She would be safe, consumed with her own little world. The more she shut people out, the less opportunities they would have to hurt her.

The problem she had was that she depended on people so much; when they were gone, she was left with nothing. When the people she relied on for happiness disappeared, she was left with sadness. When the people she relied on for joy went away, she was left with bitterness. When the people she relied on for contentment left her, she didn't know who she was.

I'm SO thankful that the girl I'm writing about is no longer me. I finally, after many years, realized that I'm putting my trust into the wrong things. I can't rely on people to be all of those things for me. They will let me down. People will leave, for whatever reason. People are mean and hateful. They will hurt my feelings. People will break my heart.

I'm so glad that there is a God who loves me more than anyone on this earth can. I can trust him. I can count on him. He will never leave me. He's faithful and constant. He is always there for me and he's not going anywhere. He can handle my baggage. He gives me joy. He gives me purpose in life. My fulfillment is found in him. He understands me and sees to my core. His love is greater than that of any I've experienced from people in my life. He gives me hope. He gives me joy. He gives me peace. He gives me strength. He is my rock to lean on. He's more than enough for me. He meets all of my needs.

He knocks down the wall I've worked so hard on. He gives me boldness and confidence. He gives me compassion and makes me selfless. When my instinct is to shut you out, he says "Remember, it's not about you. They may need someone to tell them hey, ask them how they are, or just flash a smile." He reminds me that he puts people in my life for a reason. Although I don't always want to, he compels me to invite you in. He assures me that it's okay to let down my guard because when you let me down, he is there to sustain me. So, you're invited. You're invited to get to know this girl (who, at times, is a mess). She's working hard at keeping her guard down and getting to know you. She doesn't want to miss out on any more blessings by shutting people out. 

I have tendencies to revert back to this old me. She's a diva. She can be fiesty. She's selfish and no fun to be around. When she shows up, I have to immediately shut her down and turn her off (Some of you are thinking "She has an alter-ego....kinda like Beyonce"......not quite. Others of you are concerned that I'm talking about myself in third person. I'm okay, really!) I'm thankful that Jesus is greater than my struggles and even when I give in to the fight, God still loves me. I'm thankful for his grace and his mercy. Without it, I know the person I'd be and I don't like her. My prayer for you, yes you reading this, is that you come to know this love, this forgiveness, this acceptance. God is good. He's not some mean being that wants to strike you with lightning. He formed and created you. He loved you before the creation of the world and he's waiting for you. He's waiting for you to stop trying to fix yourself and for you to bring the broken pieces of your life to him so that he can put you back together.

Cork or Lure

This past weekend I was able to do something I haven't done in a while. I went fishing with my daddy, stepmom, little brother, and granddaddy. When I was younger, this was something we did regularly. Now that my brother and I are older and kind of have our own things going on, we don't get as many chances to go fishing as a family. Many memories have been made with lines cast, sitting around water. Most involve slimy worms, pliers, and the occasional "SET THE HOOK!". When I was younger I didn't realize it, but these times are some that I will hold close to my heart forever.

I remember being young and baiting my own hook (sometimes even baiting my brothers, shhh! Don't tell him I told you that) with a worm or minnow. Back then, and even recently, I would fish using a cork. It's the way I grew up fishing! It can be pretty boring at times. You bait the hook, cast the line, and .... sit.... and sit..... and sit... and you watch the cork as it sits on top of the water, bait dangling below. I remember feeling like I was staring a hole through my cork; thinking if I didn't take my eyes off of it, then a fish would be more likely to come by and grab onto my hook! This kind of fishing involves a lot of sitting and waiting, hence the reason we have so many funny memories. When you're sitting around waiting for a bite, you get pretty bored staring at a cork that isn't moving and you find ways to enterain yourselves and make each other laugh. So you continue to laugh, or stare at the water until you see a little bobble and feel a little tug. You give it just a second, and then you do what I believe is one of the most important steps in fishing- Daddy likes to refer to this snatching of the line up and back as "setting the hook". And when he yells "set the hook!" he doesn't mean just a tug back, he means... well I won't give out the secret to his technique... So, you've finally got one! You reel it in, cup your hand around the fishy's head, slide your hands back so those fins don't get you, then wiggle the hook free. (You can get your older sister to do this part for you as well)

This past Saturday, we pull up to our secret spot. Daddy hands me a pole with just a lure. He tells me to go ahead and throw a couple casts while he gets my pole (with a cork) ready. I don't normally fish this way. I've done it a few times, but I'm more comfortable with a bright colored ball floating on top of the water, sitting in a chair eating sunflower seeds, and just chillin! So anyways, this pole he hands me has a lure on the end. The lure doesn't float. You can't see it while it's in the water. The trick is, once your cast it out, you have to reel it back in. If you leave it out there, it doesn't do a good job of attracting fish and you'll probably be sitting all day. If you don't snag one, you throw the line back out and reel it in again. Eventually, you will catch one (maybe even the first one of the day... just saying...) I don't think I had ever caught a fish using this method before, but Saturday I did (rather quickly, actually) so I continued to use it for the rest of the afternoon. Will and I got into a small boat, paddled out and around and just hung out. We talked, laughed, and of course caught some fish! I was stunned that I was catching fish this way--I think it's my new favorite way to fish!

It must have been Monday when I was thinking back on my weekend when a thought struck me. Okay, stay with me. Some of you know I'm a girl of analogies.

I was thinking about this season of life and how I'm growing and changing in many different areas. Spiritually, emotionally, the way I relate to others, and my general outlook on life. Today I am a much more assertive person than I was 5 years ago, even 5 months ago. I am actively living life, not just sitting back watching it fly by. I am actively seeking God in my life, not just waiting for Him to drop things in my lap. I am more outgoing (well try to be) in my relationships. I try to be the person who initiates conversations or asks about other people, not just wait for them to come talk to me or ask how I am. God has changed me in many ways and continues to do so each day.

I find it fitting that I now prefer to fish with a lure (without a cork, whatever the professional terminology is). I like to think I'm more like a lure than a cork. You see, when you fish with a lure, you have to put forth effort. You throw out the line, reel it in, and repeat. It takes some work. You don't just sit staring at a cork on top of the water. You are out looking for those fish, not just waiting for them to come to you. You're taking an active role in trying to catch them. You are giving yourself better chances of catching something by covering more area. If you cast in one direction a couple times with no bite, then you simply try another direction. Rather than sitting in one spot and not moving, you are constantly bringing your line back in and throwing it out again.

So as silly as it may be, I'm thankful God uses small things to teach me big lessons. It may not mean much to you, but it meant a lot to me (to realize these things in my life). Right now, in life, you're one of the two. The cork- sitting around, just waiting for things to come to you, and missing out on so much that God has planned for you, or the lure-on the move, constantly seeking out your purpose in life and how to accomplish it. I'm sorry, but I've been the cork. It's pretty lame and boring. I don't ever want to go back to just sitting and waiting on things to happen in my life. Actively seeking out God is much more exciting and rewarding! Knowing him more and becoming more like him can only happen when you play an active role in your relationship with him. The more you seek him, the more you will find him and see him working in your life. The more time you spend with him, the more he changes your heart and makes you more like him. Maybe you don't have a relationship with Christ. Talk to someone you think may be able to help you figure those things out. Come visit us at Church Central. We meet every Sunday and we'd love to have you! Maybe you do have a relationship with Christ, but you've just been sitting on the sidelines. Wake up, get back in the game. Now is the time. Life is too short to sit around and miss out on what God is doing in your life and the ways he could be using you.

Until my next post...