It's Not Me, It's You

One of my favorite, favorite, favorite (there should be a word that means more than favorite) things to do is look at the sky. Sunrise, sunset, clouds, stars, sun, moon. I'm fascinated by it all. I think it's beyond amazing that there's a ball of fire out there just chilling (and that it doesn't fry us all as it appears each day). I'm intrigued by each star and how it lights up the night sky. I (usually) wake up eager to see how God will color the sky for my morning ride to school. I can't wait to see what the sunrise will bring, what the clouds will look like, if there are any at all. No two sunrises, sunsets, or night skies are exactly the same. This is what keeps me waiting with anticipation for the next one to make its debut.

I say all that to say this- lately, I've been taking time to really slow down and enjoy each color, cloud, and ray of light as the sun rises and falls. I have found this is when God most often speaks to me (when I slow down to listen), whether reminding me of his promises or deepening my understanding of who he is. During these times he shows me his power and greatness. There's always some little treasure that I take away each time I stare into the sky.

Here's a nugget I'll share with you: Some days it's rainy and cloudy. Usually, on these kinds of days, the sun is not visible. We can't see it. When we go without it for too long, we look forward to the time when it comes out again. What we forget is that the sun is still there, somewhere above the clouds and rain, it's burning bright as it always does. It's constant. I think you know where I'm going here... It's the same with God. Sometimes we don't feel like we can see or hear him, but it's during those times we have to remember he is always with us. He's constant and faithful. He will never leave us or forsake us.

(a little off track, so let me refocus)

Some people are not awake as early as the sun rises and some have things that keep them busy as it sets. I have been there. In fact, if I didn't have to be, I'm not sure I'd be up at 6 a.m. every day. So, I share with y'all the beauty you may be missing out on. Most times I write a little blurb to go with my picture and lately people have been saying things like "Thanks for this reminder" "How encouraging" "How positive" and I got to thinking...... Let me be transparent for a moment, the first time I read a comment like this, I started to pat myself on the back. Go me. Super Spiritual Suzie- yay-yah! whoop! whoop! Then I thought to myself, "What in the world is going on? Who is this person being so positive and happy all of the time?" Because if I'm honest with myself, unfortunately that is not a strength of mine (bubbly, positive, overly happy). I don't even speak to people in the mornings. I'm not even sure I like mornings.

I won't sit here and pretend I have no clue what is going on. It's the joy that comes from spending time with Jesus through prayer and reading my bible. It was obviously showing without me realizing it. Any of you who know me, KNOW I am not Mrs. Positivity, Mrs. Personality, or Mrs. Good Morning Sunshine, at least not when I'm living in the flesh. The beauty of having a relationship with Christ is that I can be all of those things through him. I can be the positive person who encourages others. I can be the person who introduces herself to strangers (and does it with a smile). I can portray all of these qualities when my life revolves around Jesus and the Word (bible). You see, when you're so consumed with Jesus and you're focus is him, these things are reflected in your life without you realizing it. It's not me actually choosing to be joyful, peaceful, and encouraging. I don't choose to be those things. Those things are evident in my life as a result of spending time with God. The beauty of having a relationship with Christ is that it's not about me (Thank you, Lord because I am a wreck), but it's all about him. When you really live that out in your life, when you're identity (who you are) is found in him, you can be that person you want to be (it may be different qualities for you). Does this mean we are perfect? No. Do I still get ill and act like a diva? .... Yes, yes I do, especially when I get hungry and sometimes for no reason because I'm just a brat. I'm rotten, spoiled, and entitled. But Jesus makes those things easier to deal with and manage in my life. Because it's not about me. It's all about him.

Lord, thank you that it is not me, but it is You!

That Hurts

I bought a book Friday, Jesus Is ______.  So far it is awesome. I blew through the first chapter and wanted to keep reading, but made myself stop. I wanted to let all I had read really sink in. If you're on Twitter (and follow me), you know I was basically tweeting everything I read. No, really. It was all so good and God was showing me so much I wanted to share it all with everyone. I finally mellowed out because I figured Judah Smith probably didn't appreciate me tweeting the entire book. The first chapter is titled Jesus is your friend. Oh. my. goodness. It is packed full of good stuff, but I'll only share a little with you..

First of all, why do we as christians people like to look down on others? "I don't really do that." If you're honest, you probably have done or still do this in one way or another. For example, we look at Ms. Super Sinner and think "Whew! At least I'm not that bad." Or, in the words of Judah, "We gleefully hold up notorious evildoers as marvels of depravity, examples of just how bad people can get. Then we finish off our lattes, load our 2.2 children into our almost-paid-off SUVs, and head off to contribute to society." In reality, there are no extra-small, medium-small, large, or extra-large sins. God just calls sin, sin. This puts me on the same level as my alcoholic family member, the ex-church member who stole money, the guy that can't stay off drugs or out of jail and the girl who has slept with more guys than she can keep up with... Ouch, that kind of stings... As Judah says, it takes courage and humility to recognize we are just as messed up as any of the people I just described. The scary part is most of us will never get this honest with ourselves, or God. We will continue with our good deeds, trying to earn God's attention and love, and nothing will ever change. We're all messed up and in need of God's grace and love. As soon as we can get honest with ourselves (and God) we can live in freedom. "God doesn't define us by our actions, but by his love." Thank you, Lord.

Instead of looking down on these "really bad" people, we should make it a point to love them, just as Jesus did when he walked the earth. He was, after all, a friend of sinners. I think we hear that phrase too often. You just read that and didn't think twice about what that would really look like in your life. We hear 'friend of sinners' and let it go in one ear and out the other, never taking time to fully grasp the weight of what that means.

It is, however, easier to seperate ourselves from these "horrible" people. (Now is the part where I will heavily quote the book because he just writes it perfectly). "If I seperate myself from sinners, I don't have to deal with their pain. I don't have to walk in their shoes or love them or let my heart break with theirs. I don't have to get my hands dirty helping them put the pieces of their lives back together. I can justify rudeness and indifference when my heart should bleed with compassion. I can ignore the fact that but for the grace of God I would be doing exactly what they are doing. [...] If I seperate myself from sinners, I don't risk my own reputation. I remain a member in good standing of the holier-than-thou club, where we sit around congratulating each other on how much better we look than everyone else while agreeing that the world is going to hell in a handbasket (whatever a handbasket is) [...] Most telling of all, if I seperate myself from bad people, I feel better about myself. Because compared to them, I'm doing pretty well." All of the bolded words are my excuses. I read this and felt like someone had plugged in a blinking arrow and pointed it right in my face. So, rather than condemning you for not living up to my standards, I will remind myself of how desperately in need I am of Jesus' grace.

I want to do like Judah and resolve to open my heart to others who may live differently from me. I don't want to feel sorry for them, "make a project out of them", or "turn them into a trophy of my evangelism". I just want to be their friend. A true friend.

God show me how to live this out in my life. Help me to love others as you love me.
Until my next post...

That's Life

Blog world! It has been far too long. Lots has happened since my last post, but I won't bore you with all of the details. For those of you who are reading this and thinking, "What? This girl blogs? Weird..." yeah, don't judge. It's just something I enjoy sometimes. And yes, if you go back, there are lots of pointless posts that you will read and probably wish you had the 5 minutes of your life back that you just spent reading about mine. (I was unemployed for a while there.) Anyways! I'm hoping to start writing about things with a little more substance. Things that matter a little bit more.

Tonight we went to our first life group. Some of you are wondering what that is. Well, it's simple. It's basically a group of people that get together and "do life" together. Adam and I first heard about life groups about two years ago. We never went to one because we didn't fit in with any group  kept coming up with excuses not to go hang out with people for one night a week. If I'm honest, that scared me to death (and still kinda does). After all, I wasn't sure I wanted to share my problems in life with a group of strangers and, honestly, I didn't care to hear about theirs either. (Queen of Selfishness) We are young...and married. At the time, we were 21 and 20 and most kids our age are not exactly Newlyweds! We don't have kids, we aren't old, etc., etc. Really, they were all excuses.

More than two years later, here we are. Finally experiencing our first life group. It wasn't as scary as expected. In fact, it was very refreshing. We're doing a study called "I Am Second", whew God really knows what I need hear! We watched two videos of people giving their stories and then we pretty much just talked about our lives and discussed different things (which, as 'shy' or 'quiet' as I may be, I did enjoy). Then we prayed and left. Wait, did I miss something? Where's the outline? I didn't even get to fill in any blanks or takes notes. That IS why I brought a notebook. Where's my homework? We don't have a scripture memory verse for the week? Uh, ok..

Then we got in the truck, headed home and it clicked. Life groups are about sharing your life with other people, or "doing life" together. It's about talking through what's going on in life and being there for each other through each situation. It's a time where you can be open and honest and learn from each other. It doesn't have to be just another intense bible study complete with handbooks, blanks, homework, and scripture memory verses for each week. NOT to say those type of studies are bad, I actually enjoy the structure of filling in the blanks and doing homework. But, I think for this season in life, God knows I need something simple. I need something that doesn't require as much as other studies I've done in the past. He is teaching me to live simply and showing me that I don't have to follow all the rules that we as Christians put in place to make ourselves feel closer to him by following. Just love God and love people.

My excuse for not going to a life group because we didn't 'fit' was blown out the window tonight. As I sat in a room with a man probably in his late 40s, one couple with children in 6th grade and 2nd grade, and another couple with kids ages 4 and 1, I realized it's not as much about your age or season in life as it is about growing closer to God with other believers. We are all at very different stages of life, but we have the most important things in common: 1. We're all broken and need help, grace, and love. 2.We want to know God better and love people more. I'm excited about what God is going to do during this time each week and what he is going to teach each of us. I can't wait until we meet again next week. 5:30. If you're interested, you should come. We'd love to "do life" with you!

It's Not Goodbye

Goodbyes are never easy. Whether it's your dad leaving to go live somewhere else, your uncle moving out west, your dog dying unexpectedly, or a family that's very special to you moving out of state, it's never easy to see the ones you love the most go away, even if only for a little while. How do you say goodbye to people who have had so much influence in your life? These people are very special. You see, they aren't just church family for us, they're real family! To a guy who I will always see as my youth pastor, who helped me learn to grow in and understand God's word through the most critical years of my life, a guy who has had more influence than he will know over his nephew (my husband), I hope you gain so much knowledge through school and your mentors and that you grow as a leader. To a sweet woman who has been a mentor and great friend to me beginning in my early teen years, who when I first met I thought of as a big sister, a woman who I've seen go through many things and have learned from how to trust God in hard situations and praise Him for his blessings, I hope you are refreshed through spending time with your family and that God teaches you many things during your time up north. To a kind-hearted little boy who Adam nicknamed 'No-Man', who was his parents' first blessing and is the sweetest, most well mannered child, very caring, but all boy, who I've watched learn and grow from birth, I know you will do very well in your new school, you will make many friends because you are so sweet and easy to get along with. I hope you learn so much, be nice to your teacher! :) Take care of your brother and sister, and don't get too tall! To two little "babies" who will always be just that to me, M&M, who are opposite as night and day, who never allow for a dull moment, who make us laugh constantly and test us every now and then, you two may have been the hardest to say bye to. I hope you two continue to learn and grow. I look forward to seeing how much you change between now and the next time I see you. Don't forget us, we are Adam & Cason (not to be confused with Adam & Eve!). I love all five of you, and of course my heart is heavy as you move today, tears stream down my face as I write this post, but I am also happy for each of you. God is going to do great things in each one of your lives. So, it's not 'goodbye', it's just 'see you later' because I know we will be seeing you soon!

Giveaways

Being a first year teacher, I have been on the look out for ways to score cheap/free supplies and materials for my new room. Well through the blog world I have hit the jackpot! There are tons of freebies and giveaways available. I am blogging about a specific giveaway that Kickin it in Kinder is doing. Just by blogging about the giveaway, I get 10 entries into the drawing! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I am the winner! Follow her blog for great freebies and resources! I'll let y'all know if I win :)

Tweet Tweet

Today I joined the Twitter nation. A little late, I know! But I finally did it. Let me tell you, all of the @s and #s are confusing at first! I spent all day a lot of time looking through tweets and deciphering the strange language of Twitter. I'm still learning, so if you follow me, first of all I want to apologize for the unnecessary amount of tweets I put out today and probably will for the next few days! Im addicted. Second of all, don't judge my tweets-I'm learning! If you're not on Twitter, you should join. You get to stalk people like Luke Bryan follow your favorite celebrities, actors, singers, etc. So join! And if you're already on, follow me @Mrs_Schulze! I was going to come up something a little more creative...I'm still working on it! Until my next post...

Updates Part 2

So along with a new job, we also have a new family member. Yes, my husband got us another dog. He is a blue pit and his name is Bubba Sparx. HA! I always think of Bubba Sparks when I say his name, but no that's not his middle name. In fact, he doesn't have a middle name. I like dogs, but I'm not a crazy dog person (although with 4 you may think different) who has crazy triple names for their dogs. Bubba is very different from Cash. Bubba is calm, Cash is psycho hyper. Bubba can sleep on his own (couch, floor, bed, laundry basket), Cash needed to cuddle and be held. Bubba is relaxed, Cash is a wanderer. They are opposites for sure. I guess like children, no two are the exact same. I must admit, while I sometimes enjoy the puppy stage (cuddling, holding him), I will be glad when he grows up and I don't have to clean up his messes and he learns the word 'No!' Until my next post...