Promises of a New Season

Foreword: The tiny thought that inspired this post made a lot more sense in my head. I feel a little distracted, so I hope all of this makes sense. Thanks for reading!


The "inspiration" for this post came about a while back. A couple of weeks ago, I was outside and felt the slightest cool breeze blow. I love that time of year; where you start to feel fall in the air. It brings back many childhood memories that I hold close, many of which took place in a concrete parking lot in Athens, Georgia on game day. That feeling means different things to different people. When I felt the cool air that day, I automatically got excited for college football (Blame my Daddy, brother, and Papa. They ruined me. Growing up, I knew way to much about the sport and in high school I knew more about UGAs players/stats than your average teenage girl.)  

However, there was another feeling that was brought about by the cool air that day. This feeling was a new one. I hadn't felt it in years past. The cool air was coming as a relief to the hot summer we experienced, which made me think... A new season is coming; a cool, new season, full of another set of months and different weather than what we've been having. For the first time, as I felt fall coming, I also felt a sense of hope. Hopeful for cooler days. Hopeful for holidays that allow me to spend more time with my family. Hopeful for new colors on the trees. Hopeful for a change in scenery. Hopeful for a change, period. Hopeful that even though things aren't going my way, they are working out how they should. Hopeful that I won't always feel this way. Hopeful that I will soon be back on top of the mountain instead of deep in the valley. Hopeful that the Lord is showing me something through this time.

I feel like that was legit babbling, so let me try to bring it together! Maybe you are going through a difficult time; I am. Just being honest. I am having a tough time as I'm sure has been made evident through my blogging. It's not with one thing or another; it's just with life. This season sucks for lack of a better word. Yes, I am seeking God through it and I am trying to stay positive and learn in it, but it is hard and I don't like it. That day I felt the cool breeze, I was reminded that just as the seasons change year-round, so do the seasons of life. It's so cliché, but I'm gonna go there: This too shall pass. And it will. Whatever you are going through, whatever I am going through, we will get through it one way or another. We may not be able to see the 'light at the end of the tunnel' (man! tonight I'm being chee-say -Will, that was for you if you're reading), but we will soon (or not so soon) be moving into a new season. Fall is coming (well, when I was first inspired to write this)!

Now, fall has come. We are in its midst and it is making its presence known with cool mornings and evenings. As promised, leaves are starting to change and fall from the trees. Days are getting shorter. Nights are getting longer. And I'm reminded of the Lord's faithfulness to me (and you). He will do what He says He is going to do. He will take care of his children. His word is true and He keeps his promises.

So, I believe from now on, when I feel the first cool breeze that promises a new season is coming, I will not only think about college football, red & black, and pom-poms, but I will also be reminded of the Lord's faithfulness to me and the hope I have in Him; hope for a new season; hope that He has my best planned out; hope that He will do exceedingly more than I can ask or imagine.   

Navigating The Woods

I haven't posted much lately. I've been journaling and reflecting a lot. I've been thinking about whether or not what I share is too personal. I've come to the conclusion that I am a real person dealing with real things, just like the people who read the stuff I write. I've heard a few stories about people reading my blog, some of which I don't even know, and being encouraged. That's the whole point of sharing "my life" I guess you could say. I don't write about every single detail, although some posts do get a little personal. There are still many things I either keep to myself or only tell Adam. With that being said, here's something that happened to me recently:

A couple weeks ago, Adam took me out to the land he hunts on. We were returning a friend's ranger and Adam wanted to show me around. I was excited to get to ride around with him. Being on about 350 acres, he didn't even get to show me half of it. While on our tour, we went across many make-shift bridges, up some steep (scary) hills, and drove for what seemed like forever. There were so many trails and paths; there's no way I could've known how to get back to the truck. As we drove and drove, I couldn't help but question whether or not he knew where he was going. I was amazed that he knew his way around. Of course, he got us back to the truck safely.

As we were riding around, I felt helpless and completely out of control. I couldn't help but compare my ride with Adam to the ride I'm on right now in life. Without Adam, who knew where he was going the whole time, I would've been lost. The same is true of God in this season and every season of life. He knows what he's doing. He knows how to get me to where I need to be and he will make sure I arrive on time safely. While riding, I had no control. I couldn't tell Adam which way to go because I had no clue where we were. The same is true in life. Sometimes you have to just sit in the passenger seat, (try to) enjoy the ride, and trust you will get to where you need to be. Just like I questioned Adam's judgment (even if only for a second), I also question God. I ask Him, "Are you sure you know where we're going?" I may even say, "I don't think this is the right way." I was forced to trust Adam to be the driver, just like I am having to trust that God is driving me in the right direction. When I don't know which way to go, He guides my paths and makes them straight. He helps me navigate the woods of life.

My least favorite part of the tour was the scary hills we had to drive up and down. I'm just not a fan of heights and those hills weren't no joke (excuse my grammar). There are times in life that are scary. You don't know if you can make it up the hill, and once you get to the top, looking down can be just as frightening. I'm thankful that God is our refuge in times of need. When things are scary, He will cover you with His feathers and protect you under his wings (Psalm 91:4). When my heart is overwhelmed, He is my rock (Psalm 61:2) which is unshakeable.

I believe God was using my time in the woods that day to teach me more about how He is working in my life right now. I think He tries to show me things often, but my heart just isn't open to receiving them. I am trying to be more aware of His presence in my life, all day every day. I fight to make Him my focus and to not get distracted by all the chaos of life.

I enjoyed my ride with Adam that day. It was carefree and peaceful. It taught me that it's okay and sometimes beneficial to sit back and just ride. I don't always have to drive. I don't always have to be in feel like I'm in control. The Lord is going to take care of me. He has only good planned for me and those plans are immeasurably more than I can ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20).

I Just Wanna Brag

Most of you know that my little brother is living in Athens and going to college at UGA. What some of you may not know is that he's gotten plugged in with a local church where he plays with the band. Some Sundays he leads worship, others he just plays guitar. He's asked us a good number of times to come up and go to church with him there one Sunday and since he was leading this morning we decided to go.

I've seen and heard him lead worship before. Many times I've been right up there with him. Today I was just struck by how God is using him. While worshiping, I was watching him leading; singing and playing guitar. While listening to him pray, I couldn't help but be so proud of him and the young man he has become. You see, we have a very close relationship. We have a lot of things in common and, for the most part, we just get each other. We even have our own little language that aggravates some, but we don't really care. We kind of have the same sense of humor and lots of times we both laugh at things others don't really think are funny. 

We share a lot of the same interests; one of those being music. I remember it like it was yesterday (so cliche); we would sit in the floor of my bedroom with printed chords (later on we'd have a laptop looking up chords) to songs for him to play (mostly Taylor Swift and other ridiculously girly songs). Early on, he would only play and I would sing. He is a self-taught musician, so he was still teaching himself how to play guitar back then. I would love to be able to go back in time and watch and listen to us. Some of my best memories with him are sitting in the floor of my bedroom, tripping out at each other when we would sound awful, singing a part wrong, or playing the wrong chord. Our jam sessions became a regular thing. In fact, when I graduated and moved out for college, I was most sad about not getting to do this with him whenever I wanted! Anyways, I started encouraging him to sing different songs and then tell him how good he was (because he was and is!). I like to think I helped him discover his voice (you know, always giving myself props). But, really. Now when we play together, he leads most songs and I sing harmony. I tell him now his voice is more developed than mine and he is definitely more confident (in the most humble way possible!).

I say all of that to say this: He is my younger brother, but I look up to him sometimes. I'm so glad he discovered these talents and I'm so proud that he uses them to serve in the local church. I wouldn't trade those memories in my room or in my little two door Honda Accord for anything. Yall just don't even know. We had concerts on the way to and from school. 

So, I just want to take a minute to brag on my brother and tell you how awesome he is. If you don't know him, you're missing out. He's kind of opposite from me in some ways. He's a lot nicer and more kind-hearted than I am. He definitely got the athletic gene. He played basketball, baseball, and football and he's pretty much good at anything he tries. He's genuine and funny. We kind of have the same temper and attitude, but he is more of a people-pleaser (which isn't always bad). It drives me crazy that he has taught himself to play drums, bass, guitar, piano... and I'm sure other instruments that I don't even know about. I am protective of him and I hate to see him hurt. I want nothing more than good things and success for him. Yes, there are times when we drove each other crazy (and probably almost killed each other), but somehow we became best friends. I love him so much and I think the world of him. I'm so thankful God gave me a brother that I share a special relationship with. I know God will continue using my brother to do great things for His kingdom. Just keep following Him, little bro, because He is faithful in every way. You are such a blessing to me and many others. Keep your eyes on Him and He will guide your path. 

I love you Willy P :)


Here's the last post I wrote about him over a year ago. I went back and read it after typing this one. It's kind of weird that I wrote some of the same things again!

Opening Day

As most of you may know, today was opening day of dove season. Last year, I went with Adam on a shoot for the first time ever. I didn't shoot. I just watched him. I was pretty much hooked and begged him to take me again-next time taking a gun of my own. For whatever reason we never went to another shoot last year. Fast forward to today. He lets me tag along with him; this time bringing my own gun with me (well, technically borrowed from my Daddy). A guy really loves his wife if he lets her tag along for something he really enjoys...that she could potentially ruin. Yes, I feel special!

Today was maybe the second time I've ever shot a gun in my life, so it could've been a potential disaster. Obviously we both made it home alive, so I didn't do that bad. I won't go on and on about all the birds we didn't see, but I will tell you what I learned about A today. I didn't really learn these things about him. We've been together for almost 10 years, so we know each other pretty well. Today I was reminded that he is:

Confident. Decision-making is easy for him. He can make a decision and believe in it 100%. Today, when a bird dropped in, he quickly aimed and shot before I could even get my gun up. He was so sure of himself, he wasted no time wondering whether or not he'd actually hit the bird; unlike me, who would hold my gun in the air forever (in reality a couple of seconds) wondering whether or not I'd make the shot. He balances me in this way. Where as I will question every decision I make, he is confident in his decisions. When I second guess myself, he reassures me that everything will be fine.

Patient. A characteristic I don't see much in him. Actually, I take that back. He's married to me. That requires a lot of patience. He waited a l.o.n.g. time for those birds today. He would sit and wait. And sit. And wait. And I would be in the ranger, in the shade, drinking some water and getting a snack (yes, I just admitted that. no, I did not sit there all day. I just took a short break from the unbearable sun every now and then). He was calm. He didn't get frustrated that we weren't seeing many birds. He didn't get annoyed because it sounded like WWIII everywhere except where we were sitting (everyone else was seeing birds where they were, we assume...or maybe they were all a bad shot....we don't really know)

Optimistic. This attribute gets on my nerves sometimes (not really). When we weren't seeing many birds today, he kept saying just wait, let it get a little later. He was hopeful we would eventually see all the birds everyone had raved about before we got out there. He is forever telling me it's gonna be okay, it's fine, or it's gonna work out. I get frustrated because when I'm upset about something, I just want to be upset. I don't want to be told everything will be fine. But, ultimately, I'm thankful he is this way because he keeps me positive!

Humble. He missed very few times today. But, he is human. He can admit when he misses the mark or messes up. He knows he can't do everything perfectly, but he tries his best and he gets pretty close.

Although neither of us got our limit today, we both had a good time and enjoyed each other's company. It's nice to be able to hang out with someone, without the distractions of life or other people, and still be able to make each other laugh, have a conversation, or just sit quietly. There are times we argue, there are times we get along great. I'll put it like this, which is what I realized when I decided I wanted to marry him; yes we disagree, yes we make mistakes, but at the end of the day, there's no one else I wanted to make those mistakes with. There's no one else I want by my side when I'm learning from those mistakes. Each day is an adventure in our journey. Some days are eventful; some days are boring. Either way, there's no one else I want to spend all my days with <3

I love you, A. Thanks for a fun day!

If You Give A Girl A.....

If You Give a Mouse a Cookie is a popular children's book. In fact, Laura Numeroff (teacher probs) has a whole series based on giving animals something and that thing causing them to want something different. I read these books to my kids at school and they absolutely love them.

As I was trying to go to sleep last night, I was reflecting on life and this season I find myself in. I guess thinking about the hopes and dreams I had as a little girl caused me to think about this story. Strange, I know, but I don't claim to be normal.

With the taste of freedom each new experience in life brings, the girl in my story finds herself wanting more, more, more. When she gets what she's been hoping for and it doesn't bring the fulfillment she expected, she continues to look forward to the next thing life has to offer.

This is a story about a little girl who dreams about being many things; from a princess to a cashier. She grows up quickly and soon reaches her teen years. The young girl can't wait to be old enough to make her own decisions. If you give her a license, she'll probably want a new car. Once she gets a new car, she'll want to stay out later. The curfews and rules of her parent's house will cause her to dream of the day when she can move out and go to college. Once she's in college, she'll be eager to graduate and get a job. Once she has a job, her heart will ache for a partner. She will search and search for a guy to provide the love and affection she longs for. Not long after she finds him, she'll want a ring. She won't want to be engaged long because she can't wait to be married. Once she's married, she'll realize something is still missing. Naturally, she want a baby. After a couple of years of being a young mom and with each new stage, she will get tired and burnt out. She will long for the days when her baby is "past this stage". Once her child gets older and moves away, she will look back and realize how fast her baby grew up. Now, she longs for the day when she can retire and do whatever she wants. Once she's retired she will have lots of time to reflect on her life and all that she has experienced. While she's reflecting, she will realize she has wished and hurried her life away; hoping for the next stage of life to bring satisfaction and fulfillment; never taking time to sit and soak in all that God was teaching and showing her through each season of life.

I don't want to be like the little old lady at the end of this poorly written story. It is a constant struggle for me to be content right where I am. I find myself asking God for things and not long after he blesses me with them, I complain. I think to myself, "Well, that's not how I thought it would be. I can't wait until ________."

I don't usually use the word 'hate', but I hate this about myself. I am never satisfied. I have not learned how to be content in all things. I have not learned to find my satisfaction in the Lord alone. I put my hopes and dreams into earthly things. I look to them for fulfillment. I think they can satisfy the desires of my heart. But I'm terribly wrong.

It is a constant battle for me to fight to be satisfied in Christ. Daily, I struggle to remember and believe that he is my portion; that he is more than enough for me.

"The point of life is not to keep looking ahead, but to look to the Lord to be our portion at every stage of life." -Karen Ehman, Embrace the Wait, Proverbs 31 Ministries

Lord, help me to look to you rather than looking ahead to each new stage of life. Help me to rest in where you have me now. While I wait, I will seek you. Help me to soak up all that this stage has to offer, because soon, it will be gone.

God's Not Late, We're Just Early

Whew! Now that I got that off my chest...
I want to start by admitting that this title is not original (at all), but I saw it somewhere and thought it was perfect for where I'm at right now. If I'm completely honest with you, although I have no idea who you are, I have been very frustrated with life. I have been frustrated with God. I have not been content in all things. I have, however, been unsatisfied. I have been ungrateful. I think it's okay to come before God honestly and let him know how we truly feel about certain things. In case you forgot, he already knows your heart, so be fake if you want. You're only fooling yourself.

When I was in high school, Adam and I would talk about our lives, maybe getting married one day, where we'd like to live, where we thought we might work, etc. I'll admit, we did not guard our hearts very well because we even talked about baby names. Well, I mostly talked about that, he listened.

I just want to say that I don't blog about things I haven't shared with him (I told you, my brain is scattered tonight). And what I'm about to share has nothing to do with our marriage, well not directly. Anyways, the other day I told him, "When I thought about us at 23/24 (I'm older. He got a cougar.) this is not what I had planned." Am I happy with him? Of course. With our circumstances? Not completely. Some may read this and think, "What is she complaining about? They live in a decent house. They both drive decent cars. They both have jobs. They live comfortably. She sounds very spoiled and ungrateful." First, I would say to those people, you are right. I already admitted I have been ungrateful and yes, bratty. Second, I would say, things are not always what they appear. Often times people who seem to have it all together are the ones who feel like things are falling apart around them. I'm not saying we are those people, but I'm not saying we aren't. Just because we go to church, believe in God, and follow Christ does not mean our lives are a cake walk. We still experience failures, disappointments, sadness, anger, and the list goes on... Okay, off of that soap box and back to the original point of this post.

If you know me, you know I'm a planner. Honestly, I'm only just now realizing that not everyone makes lists for everything, color codes things in their planners, or even has a planner for that matter. I know, I'm shocked everyone isn't like me. If you know me, you're not shocked that I just said that.

Needless to say, before Adam and I were married, I had a five year plan. You may laugh, but I'm serious. By 22, ________ would happen. By 23, we would _________. I want __________ to happen by 24. And by 25, we will be _________. Let's just say, as I approach 25, things have not gone according to my plan. I've thought, God, where are you? You're supposed to make these things happen. I'm tapping my watch, looking up, saying, "You're late!" Don't you know __________ was supposed to happen by __________??? We were supposed to be __________. What are you trying to do, mess up my plan? Some of you may be thinking, "Oh she's talking about ______." No, I'm really not. I am talking about many different things that just have not gone like I wanted them to. Life is messy and complicated and I'm so thankful for my God that guides me through it and my husband who supports and encourages me in every step of our journey. 

Lately, I have been so caught up in my circumstances and the fact that things aren't going according to plan. For a planner, this is aggravating. For all you go with the flow people, I don't see how you do it. So, yes, I have been aggravated and I may go so far as to say angry with God. It doesn't matter about what- things that I have no control over-things that I can't change.

Have you ever sat through a church service and felt like everyone else could leave because you were sure the message was just for you? Well, I'm sure others needed it too, but this morning was one of those mornings for me. I love Pastor Jeff. He's a simple kind of guy. He usually has one main point in his sermons. Sometimes he gets a little crazy and gives two. I mean, really, if we actually took the (one) point made in a sermon, we could probably spend a while trying to live it out in our lives. So, I'm thankful he doesn't give me too much to chew on during the week! This morning, he reminded me us: Faith says: I'm more confident in God than my circumstances. He could've just stopped there and I could've started praying and been there for.a.while. I have not been very confident in God lately. In fact, in my prayers, I have asked God what he is doing. Why am I here (not literally)? What is the point of this? Why haven't things gone my way? How did we get to this season in life?

Jeff gently reminded me through my storm, which may seem trivial to most, God is teaching me to have full confidence in Him. Sometimes life and this Christian walk isn't fair. Oh em gee. Was he a fly on the wall in my house the other day? Because I just said, through tears, to Adam: "It's not fair that ____________________."

"What if the work God is doing through the circumstances is to help build your faith so that you're totally confident in Him the next time a situation arises that requires your faith to be strong?" Hashtag, things that are hard to hear........... because then you are forced to reason with why things are/aren't happening your life. I know God is building my faith in Him through this season of life. I don't like to admit that, for whatever reason. Of course, I think my faith is strong, it doesn't need to grow any. When I'm honest, I know that's not true. It's like Jeff said, we all want this strong faith that can move mountains and not be shaken, but we don't want to go through and experience what it takes to grow into that kind of faith. This kind of faith "doesn't come from years of bible studies". Sometimes this kind of faith is a choice. Not just a one time choice, but a choice that has to be made weekly, daily, hourly, every moment we are breathing. We have to choose to believe God will take care of us. We have to choose to have faith that says, "When you give and even when you take away, my heart will choose to say, 'Blessed be Your name'. " We have to choose to trust that God knows what He's doing. We have to choose to follow Him and believe His word is real in our lives even when things aren't going our way.

By the end of the sermon, I was in tears, so overwhelmed. The last song we sang couldn't have been more perfect. I prefer Matt Maher's version and I've had it on my iPod for a while now. It has been one of the many songs I meditate on and keep in my head. "Without you I fall apart.[..] Lord, I need you. [..] Every hour I need you."

To wrap up all this babbling, as much as I don't want to make sense of any of my "mess", I know that God is growing my faith through this time. Yes, there will be and have been days where I don't think I can keep patiently seeking God and waiting for Him to make sense of it all. There will be days when I feel emotionally drained and too overwhelmed with all that goes on in this crazy head to function. But, in those moments, I hear God say, "You don't have to carry all of this. You don't have to figure it all out. Just rest in me. Wait on me. Keep looking to me and I am going to take care of you because you are my daughter. You may not understand your circumstances, but I am working it all out, so just trust in Me to do what is best for you. I'm not missing anything. I'm not late. You're just early. You're not ready yet. It's not time. So just wait. When these things come together in life, it'll be right on time. You wait and see."

Until the time when those things make sense, I will continue to rest and put full confidence in Him...

Bearing Your Soul to Strangers

I was just writing/typing a blog post and then got to thinking... Monthly, sometimes weekly or evenly daily, I write about things that are of value to me. I write about things that weigh heavily on me. I write about things that I feel other people may enjoy reading or be encouraged by. The strange thing is I have no clue who is out there reading all of this stuff! It's like I'm bearing my soul to a bunch of strangers. I am being transparent with people, some of which might not even speak to me if they saw me in public. That is weird! Maybe the only people who read my posts are close friends and family. Maybe only "church people" read my posts. Maybe I have a stalker who clicks on my blog multiple times a day to see if I've posted anything new. I mean I have page views from Russia and Germany. Talk about freaky. The point is, I literally do not know who reads the stuff I put out there. And most of my posts are very personal. I don't feel they are inappropriate or too vulnerable, but I write about some very personal things- like I said, things that are important to me.

I don't know who you are, but I do know people out there are reading my posts. I can see how many page views my blog gets, how many times a certain post is read, etc. But all of the stats are anonymous. I don't see names I only see numbers. This is not to discourage you from reading. I promise, there is no way for me to figure out who you are. It actually makes me feel good that people are at least clicking on the link to my blog when I share a post! Whether or not they read the whole thing, again, there's no way for me to know. Don't get me wrong, I would definitely still [write] even if I had 0 page views. I find it to be very restorative (it's a real word, look it up). For someone who isn't good using words verbally, I love to write. Most times I feel like the words make sense :)

My brain is very scattered right now, so I don't think I could've finished my original post before I got all of that out. Anyways, thank you to the people who take time to read what I take time to write. I hope, somehow, these posts can an encouragement to you.

Now, back to my original post...